Ghosting: what is it and how do you deal with it professionally?

Article by: Vincent van Vliet

Last update: September 8, 2025

Imagine: you’ve had a job interview. Everything seemed to go well, you felt confident and even thought: “This could be my new job!”. Afterwards, you politely send a thank-you email… but then nothing happens. No reply, no phone call, nothing at all…

Or perhaps you recognize this in business: you had an enthusiastic conversation with a potential customer. He said, “We’ll call you next week!” You’ve prepared everything, but the phone remains silent…

We call this phenomenon ghosting. It sounds innocent—as if someone is turning into a ghost—but in reality, it feels painful and confusing. And it doesn’t just happen in relationships or friendships. It’s also becoming increasingly common in the business world, with recruiters, customers, or even colleagues.

Ghosting affects us both privately and professionally. And that’s exactly why it’s important to understand what it does to you, what causes it, and above all, how to deal with it in a healthy way.

The meaning of ghosting is more than just a silent phone

But what exactly is ghosting? Quite simply, it means that someone stops contacting you without explanation or saying goodbye. The word comes from ghost, because someone suddenly “disappears.”

Although many people are familiar with ghosting mainly from the dating world, it occurs everywhere:

Dating – someone never responds after a pleasant encounter.
Recruitment – a recruiter or employer keeps you waiting and then disappears.
Sales – a customer says they are interested, but then you never hear from them again.
Collaborations – a colleague or business partner stops communicating without explanation.
Social media – someone suddenly blocks you for no reason.

This makes ghosting a phenomenon that is not limited to WhatsApp or Tinder. It can just as easily affect you in your work or career.

Why do people ghost?

The first thought is often: “What did I do wrong?”. But in most cases, ghosting says more about the other person than it does about you.
Possible reasons include:

Avoiding conflict – people often find it difficult to say honestly that they are not interested.
Lack of professionalism – companies sometimes do not have a clear follow-up process.
Shifting priorities – someone chooses a different path but doesn’t let you know.
Low empathy – they don’t think about the impact of silence on the other person.

It’s painful, but important to remember: this doesn’t make you any less valuable! This behavior says more about the other person and their communication skills.

How does ghosting affect you?

Ghosting almost always leaves a void. Because when someone suddenly stops communicating, you are left with questions. In your head, you hear the voices:

“Did I say something wrong?”
“Why isn’t the other person responding anymore?”
“Is it me?”

And that uncertainty can really affect you. Not only in terms of your self-confidence, but also in terms of your energy and motivation. Whereas you would normally enter into a collaboration or relationship full of enthusiasm, ghosting can make you more cautious or distrustful next time.

In a business context, this can even lead to missed opportunities. For example, you may start to doubt whether you should still invest in new customers or collaborations. Ghosting makes you less willing to trust—and trust is the basis of every good relationship, both personal and professional.

How do you deal with ghosting professionally?

Okay, you’ve been ghosted. That feels unfair and annoying. But how you deal with it determines whether it makes you feel smaller or stronger.

Step 1 – Acknowledge your feelings

It’s normal to feel disappointed or angry. Don’t suppress those feelings, but give them space for a short while.

Step 2 – Stay professional

Don’t let your emotions take over. Respond in a friendly and businesslike manner, even if you don’t get a response. This will help you maintain your reputation.

Step 3 – Don’t take it personally

Realize that ghosting is usually about the other person, not you. It says nothing about your worth.

Step 4 – Set boundaries

Make clear agreements: for example, send one reminder and then let it go. This will help you maintain control over your own energy.

Step 5 – Learn and grow

You can’t always prevent ghosting, but you can become stronger from it. See it as an opportunity to develop your soft skills. With the right knowledge and practice, you can take back control.

Personal leadership skills can help you with this, such as:

Assertiveness – learn how to set boundaries and clearly communicate your expectations, so you find yourself in ambiguous situations less often.
Building self-confidence – strengthen your self-image, so that someone else’s silence does not determine your worth.
Giving and receiving feedback – discover how to communicate constructively and invite others to be more honest and open.

By working on these topics, you can turn the experience of ghosting around. Instead of making you feel insecure, you can use it to develop yourself and grow more professionally.

A practical example: freelancer gets ghosted

Imagine you are a freelancer. You have prepared a comprehensive proposal for a client. Hours of work, neatly coordinated, everything delivered on time. The client says, “We’ll get back to you this week.” But nothing happens. No response. You send a reminder. Still nothing. You realize you’ve been ghosted.

How do you deal with this?

You send a short, friendly follow-up.
If there is still no response, you let it go.
You reflect: could you have made clear agreements in advance?
Then you focus your energy on other clients who do respond.

What does this achieve?

You remain professional and maintain your reputation.
You don’t waste valuable energy waiting endlessly.
You learn to manage expectations better for the future.

This turns ghosting from a frustration into a learning moment.

Conclusion and tips

Ghosting is an unpleasant phenomenon. It doesn’t just happen in relationships, but also in your career, with recruiters, customers, or collaborations. It can affect you, but it doesn’t have to diminish you.

With the right attitude and soft skills—such as assertiveness, self-confidence, and communication—you can turn ghosting into an opportunity to become stronger. Because ultimately, it’s not about who disappears, but who stays.

And you deserve relationships—both personal and professional—that respect and appreciate you. If someone decides to ghost you, let them go. You move forward, with energy and focus on the people who do matter.

Tips

Remember: ghosting says more about the other person than it does about you!
Always set clear expectations in conversations or emails.
Remain professional and friendly, even if the other person remains silent.
Use a simple follow-up system (one reminder → then let it go).
Focus your energy on relationships that are valuable.
See ghosting as an opportunity to train your soft skills.

More information about the topic: Ghosting

Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2017). Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan. – a book about healthy boundaries at work and in private life.
Grant, A. (2014). Give and take: Why helping others drives our success. Penguin. – A book about reciprocity and valuable relationships.
Georgetown Law. (2020, June 10). He Ghosted You? Here’s the Only Response That Wins [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bh8HqfrHKo. – This video explains that ghosting often revolves around the other person’s behavior pattern—not who you are. This helps you not to take it personally and to continue responding professionally.
Voss, C., & Raz, T. (2016). Never split the difference: Negotiating as if your life depended on it. Random House. – a book about negotiation and communication, also useful when conversations come to a standstill.

How to cite this article:
Van Vliet, V. (2025). Ghosting. Retrieved [insert date] from Toolshero: https://www.toolshero.com/blog/ghosting/

Original publication date: 09/08/2025 | Last update: 09/08/2025

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Article by:

Vincent van Vliet

Vincent van Vliet is co-founder and responsible for the content and release management. Together with the team Vincent sets the strategy and manages the content planning, go-to-market, customer experience and corporate development aspects of the company.